fear

throughout life, it has been a common theme to fear nothing. i’m supposed to be able to take on anything that is thrown at me. i’m supposed to make every decision with confidence. i’m not allowed to show pain. everything is supposed to roll right off of my shoulders.

reality check: i’m scared of more things than i’m willing to admit. because of fear, i don’t always respond the way i’m supposed to. because of fear, i do anything and everything to win the approval of others. because of fear, i am left with constant anxiety about what tomorrow holds.

but… why am i afraid? why don’t i turn to Christ and be reminded daily through the reading of His Word that i am fearfully and wonderfully made and because of His grace i can live in freedom? well, i can answer that easily… i’m selfish.

i don’t write that to throw myself a pity party, but because it’s true. the world wants me to worry about tomorrow. the world wants me to say what people want to hear instead of what they need to hear. because of my flesh, i would rather gain the satisfaction of feeling accepted than turning to the One who made me.

why am i saying all of this? i really don’t know. to please you, i could make up some golden answer and act like i have this grand intention of writing this but i don’t. i just wanted to be honest.

on a positive note, today i am reminded that i really don’t have anything to fear. i feel like i have taken lightly that Christ has set us free from slavery to sin and given us freedom through Him. sometimes i need to genuinely watch myself type that out to be reminded of that. hopefully i can help to remind someone else through all of this too.

quite honestly, if you’re reading this, maybe you’re like me and you’ll wake up tomorrow and forget about the positive approach you tried to have the night before. it’s super easy to wake up the next day and continue on in negativity and fear. i’ll probably wake up tomorrow and do just that. like i said, just being honest.

i don’t want to do that though. i’m gonna try, but it’s hard.

before you write me off as whining and being a pessimist, just hear me out. when is the last time someone related to you? sympathized with you? made you feel like you weren’t the only one? that’s all i really wanna do.

i could have easily made this a motivational piece that sent you on your way for a whole 3 hours feeling on top of the world, but i’d rather remind you that you aren’t alone. you may feel alone and feel misunderstood, but i hope after reading this you can feel like someone else understands how you feel.

don’t give up though. life really does pass by faster than you know. God wants you to make much of Him in this world. i’ve found that making it all about Him is the only thing that is truly fulfilling. if glory is not brought to Him then what’s really the point?

i know this has been pretty back and forth between sympathizing and staying focused on Christ, but just know that there is nothing to fear. what they think about you doesn’t matter. what tomorrow holds isn’t for you to worry about. being the tough guy isn’t always the answer.

wake up tomorrow, and with everything you do, give glory to the One who actually gave us the opportunity at life. what He says about you is all that matters. how he views you is all that matters. He loves you, and i promise you are never alone.

-E