Forever Young

I could never spend too much time enjoying the little things. The characters I grew up adoring. The shows I grew up watching. The castle I longed to see. No. My attention was immediately brought to the fear and anxiety of being on a rollercoaster. Having no control over the outcome of a situation made my head spin, my skin crawl, my stomach drop, my hands shake. I walked around in fear because I’m a big ole baby.

But then, there was Michelle. Christine Michelle Parker. For a short time, she was Christine Michelle Smith.  I remember all of the weird looks we used to get walking into Magic Kingdom. With the combination of the rest of my family members and our standout pasty whiteness, Michelle looked just a tad bit darker on the outside…

Not only is my sister a different race, she also has an intellectual disability. With little comprehension of real-life scenarios, a struggle to read, write, learn, communicate, you name it, Michelle is different. Different than anyone else on this planet, in my opinion.

I don’t say that to highlight it as something negative though. I also don’t mention her skin color as a way of saying she’s different than me and my family either. I write this to emphasize how freaking cool she is. So, let’s dive into an uplifting perspective and bask in jealousy as we all want what Michelle has: being forever young.

As I entered into the latter part of my high-school career, I always found myself wishing that time could freeze. I found myself hoping and longing to never grow up. Peter Pan quotes and scenes used to flash through my mind on a regular basis. I’ve seen that movie an unhealthy amount of times. I wish I had my own never-land.

In a sense though, I do. My sister has visited Disney World multiple times, and unlike myself who has a different approach each time due to sadly growing up, Michelle gets to experience it the same. Over and over and over. The “magic” of Disney World never fades away with Michelle. It is a new and inviting experience for her and always will be.

Her smile. It’s never ending. Her laugh. It’s contagious. Her uncontrolled reactions on rides. Priceless.  Her surprising cuss words she claims she learned from watching the Madea movies. So innocent. Not a second goes by that I’m not jealous of her life experience. Not once do I look at her disabilities as a negative thing. Her life is beautiful. She is beautiful. She radiates joy every second of every day.

As I reflect on the last thing that brought a smile to my face, I am reminded of the beauty that comes with the struggle. At one point in my life I always asked myself questions like “Will Michelle ever experience falling in love with someone?” “Can Michelle live on her own?” “What will happen when my parents are gone?” I was asking questions about my sister’s life with a trained mindset of what a “normal” life looks like.

But here’s the catch. She is normal. She’s just way cooler than I’ll ever be. I genuinely mean that too. She gets to be forever young. She may not experience some of the stereotypical things most of us experience, but she has something none of us can touch. An everlasting youth. From her obsession with WWE wrestling, to crying her eyes out because she got to meet THE Buzz Light Year at Disney World, Michelle can be an example to us all. God did something special when He gave my family the opportunity to take her in as our own.

           As she walks away on the last day at Magic kingdom, she flips her weave, probably makes a smart aleck remark to my dad, and smiles the same smile she has been smiling since the beginning. The last thing that made me laugh out loud was my sister. Not because she’s just uncontrollably hilarious, which she is, but because I’m amazed at her experience of life. She never has to grow up and I will forever envy a view of life through her eyes.

I thank Walt Disney World for giving my sister a place to experience her own never-land. I thank my parents for having a heart for adoption and giving my sister a chance to experience love, compassion, and care. I thank the Special Needs Program in the Jackson Madison County School System for loving my sister without hesitation.

Most importantly, I thank God for working in every situation. It is super easy to focus on all of the things that my sister can’t do/experience because of her disabilities. That’s a waste of time though. I choose to adore my sister’s life. She get’s to do so much that no one else will ever get to do. Without Michelle, my life would not be the same. God is using her to remind me of Simplicity. Hope. Love. Joy. Care.

Michelle, I love you. I love you more than words can express. Thank you for being you. Please, I’m begging you, never change. Never grow up. Keep calling me “E.” Keep loving Bob Ross. Keep adoring John Cena. Keep singing Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean at the top of your lungs and not caring who’s watching/listening. Keep being forever young. I thank God for you.

-E

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